Happy Friday everyone! The weekend’s coming and you’ve almost made it through another week. It passed, just like you knew it would.
I’ve been working on a concept for a post for a while called ‘Stop The World… I’ve been through heartbreak’. It’s not quite ready yet and it’s been probably one of the most difficult posts I’ve ever written. I’ve been asking for a lot of input from the STW community for this one and will continue to because anyone who has experienced heartbreak/ rejection will be as much of an expert as me.
I’m framing it in a playlist because, well everyone likes music (I think/hope) and if there’s one thing musicians know how to do, they can write about their feelings. I’ve 100% used music to help me through what has been one of the most confusing and difficult parts of my life so far.
As much as I write STW for my own self care, I equally read a lot. If I’m not writing, I’ve probably been doing some reading for inspiration instead.
One of the best writers I’ve come across recently is a wonderfully honest lady called Catherine Gray. She has written two books: ‘The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober’ and ‘The Unexpected Joy of Being Single’ (I’m part way through this one at the moment).
There was a great technique that Catherine described whereby you reframe those ‘fuck you’ moments into ‘thank you’ moments.
I’m a great believer that when you’re angry at someone, you’re only really angry at yourself. However, I have been angry lately. It’s natural, I suppose. I’ve thrown myself a fair few pity parties but it’s time to move on and move on up.
I thought I’d share a few fuck you/ thank you reframed moments because for every one who has done you wrong, they’ve also probably done you right (if you really think about it anyway).
[Names and contexts have been removed, because well – no one really needs to know.]
Here we go…
FUCK YOU for making me scared. THANK YOU for making me so scared that I needed to get help.
FUCK YOU for giving all of your opinions. THANK YOU for caring enough to have an opinion.
FUCK YOU for making me start again. THANK YOU for giving me the chance to start again.
FUCK YOU for messing with my head. THANK YOU for reminding me it’s not always a clean cut as things first seem.
FUCK YOU for making me think there was something wrong with me. THANK YOU for making me see there was something really wrong.
FUCK YOU for not understanding. THANK YOU for asking so you could understand.
FUCK YOU for turning your back on me so quickly. THANK YOU for showing me who/what really matters and to stop caring about people who don’t care about me.
FUCK YOU for asking for advice and doing the exact opposite. THANK YOU for showing me that sometimes you just need to listen.
FUCK YOU for saying that thing that broke my heart. THANK YOU for taking it back.
FUCK YOU for not loving me when I loved you so much. THANK YOU for showing me that I deserve better.
FUCK YOU for having the last word. THANK YOU for closing that chapter and showing me I don’t need/ want you anymore.
FUCK YOU for making me give up something I loved. THANK YOU for showing me I can find it somewhere else.
FUCK YOU for making me listen to that song in a way I didn’t want to. THANK YOU for making it mean more than I ever knew it could.
FUCK YOU for making me feel weird for talking about my mental health. THANK YOU for showing me that mental health stigma still exists.
FUCK YOU for leaving me when I needed you the most. THANK YOU for showing me I can get through on my own.
FUCK YOU for making me think I was a bad person. THANK YOU for helping me realise I have a good heart.
FUCK YOU for not saying anything at all.THANK YOU for not saying anything at all.
Turns out that’s much harder than I thought it would be. I challenge you to try it. People need praise, like plants need water – even if you don’t say it to anyone directly, just do it to let it go. Remember, you’ll only be angry at yourself otherwise.
Thank you and love always,
Positive of the day: I’ve rediscovered my starred playlist on Spotify and it’s cracking. I’m also seeing one of my best friends later who I’ve not seen in 7 months!!